The Most Comfortable Place You Can Put Your Boobs or “Undoing The Calamity That Is Your Mammaries”

I have been umming and ahhing over what to write about next, and while I still have Part 2 of the Breastfeeding post to tackle, I’m now very eager to tell you about my boobs.

Well, not my boobs, the new place that my boobs live.  My Molke bra.

I stopped wearing my underwired bra at some point around 2 years ago while I was pregnant, and except for 3 occasions where I endured pokey rubby pain from my (ridiculously too-small, I’ve now discovered, more on that later) underwired bra all for the sake of not looking like a sack of potatoes on a night out, I’ve been living in a horrific, greying, stretched-out stretch bra.  After initially marveling at how comfortable it was (and ignoring the fact that my boobs were about 11 inches lower than normal) I ordered two more, and they saw me through the best part of the last two years during breastfeeding, sleeping, going into the outside world etc.  But it didn’t take long before a) my boobs had grown a bit and b) the bra had lost a lot of elasticity and I was constantly hoiking my boobs back into place after spotting the escapees hundreds of times a day.  At this stage I was still breastfeeding so I didn’t fancy an underwired bra for extended use, so I did a little research as I had no idea what to buy.  Through lurking on several mummy/breastfeeding groups on facebook I had heard about a page called Boob or Bust, so off I trot and await approval for this groundbreaking group.

Let me tell you, I’m so glad I joined!  They have a calculator which you put your measurements into and they tell you your “real” bra size.  Wearing a 36D?  Yeah, you’re probably not a 36D and need to get on to that calculator pronto.  Basically I was wearing an old 40H bra which I struggled to do up at the back and was spilling out of, I’m now in a 38K and although I think I could still tweak the size a little more due to the back being a bit loose still (credit where credit’s due, that’s not their mistake, when the ladies are this large the margin of error is a lot bigger so it takes a bit of trial and error) I’m so much comfier and my boobs are lifted up where they belong.

But the story does not end there, oh no.  While reading post after post of happy boob-owners and their unicorn bra (mythical perfect apparel which people swear exists) stories, I saw several posts mentioning a Molke (or Billy Bums, as it was previously) Bra, who were raving about how amazing they were for breastfeeding (tick) and how comfortable and flattering they were for ample bosoms (tick tick – one for each boob).  Right, I’d better get me a Molke bra then.  Except I’d discovered them too late.  It was around January this year and they’d closed temporarily while they were working on expanding the business.  Meaning no bras right now.

Defeated, I went back to lurking on the Boob or Bust page for more tips.  Now, not naming names (all I got from them was bilk and hassle…), I saw another bra company, similar to Molke, and decided that they would be my saviour.  They were not.  I ordered two bras on a buy one get one free deal, and ended up sending them back for alterations as they were just nowhere near the size I’d measured for and ordered. That’s when the trouble started.  They announced they’d be closing down for good, although they would be finishing the alterations they’d promised to do. Phew.  But they didn’t.  They sent me ONE completely different bra, which still didn’t fit, and then stopped replying to my emails, just spewing out the same autoreply over and over.  Thank jeebus for Paypal, eh?

Back to square one.  I’ve got money burning a hole in my stretch bra, actually no that’s just a regular hole, this bra is falling apart.

But wait!  Molke are now ready to rock, and have announced their launch date!  Giddy with excitement, I open their bookmarked website on the day of launch and…..miss out on the chance to get a bra.  They sell so fast that the first time I get on there, my size is gone completely.  Whyyyyyyy do the bra gods hate me?  Should I have been kinder to my boobs?  Are they getting their revenge in a strange cutting-off-nose-to-spite-face way?  I don’t know, I just know I’m left hanging (lolz) and sulk for a bit, not knowing when I will get to experience this revolution in boob-wear.

It’s ok, this is where my story gets its happy ending.  The day comes when I get to click “add to basket” on a gorgeous pink bra.

Ladies.  LADIES.  Get yourself a Molke bra.  No, seriously, stalk that page for new stock, add yourself to the mailing list, and GET A MOLKE BRA.

The Molke bra is made of thick, soft stretchy fabric, has no underwire and somehow magically lifts your boobs up to give you cleavage and a fantastic shape.  It’s seriously the most comfortable bra I’ve ever put on, and even though I occasionally (like twice in 14 hours, tops) need to have a wriggle to re-adjust (chasing a toddler round and sometimes being a bit upside down will do that to anybody) it’s been such a small adjustment that it’s taken me a while to even notice it’s needed.

It features a crossover front which is just bloody brilliant for breastfeeding (not that I’m using that feature right now, sob, but I have road-tested the accessibility to the boobs and it’s spot on, doesn’t pinch and moves out of the way brilliantly) is nice and wide across the shoulders and comes in a range and combination of back and cup sizes which should suit nearly all ta-tas.  They also have a few nice colours to pick from, with many more patterns and colours to be introduced over time (right now they’re just trying to keep up with our feverish ravaging of their stock) with news that unicorns are coming (apt, for this is many women’s unicorn bra) and hopefully soon I’ll have a gorgeous rainbow print version.

To sum it up, I love this bra.  I don’t want to take it off, but it’s ok because I managed to get the last white bra in my size this morning.  Two Molkes.  What’s better than two?  Three.  What’s better than thr- you get where I’m going with this.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.